If I hadn't known her, I would have missed her. When I phoned her to ask for an interview I had to convince her, also because the moment was not the most suitable ... yet she whispered to me with great spontaneity: let's start having a coffee with a slice of cake and then let's see ...
We can talk about you if you want, it seems to me that we are about the same age ...
“I'm over thirty and less than forty, maybe a little closer to forty (laughs amused).
I realize how painful it is to think about your sister, but you are so similar, I guess you had a very intense bond ...
“We were very close, I think it's hard to find such a close bond. I remember her travels, we made some wonderful trips, in Uzbekistan, Iceland, Laos, Cambodia, we also went to Syria and Lebanon. We were my sister Fiona, my sister Gemma - three years younger - and me. On every trip something funny happened to us, in Syria for example they thought we were relatives of a powerful family, the Al-Beeks, so they treated us like queens (her eyes light up). Then we were hired by Cunard (Queen Mary and Queen Elizabeth) and we were lucky enough to do concerts on cruises and to have seen many interesting countries ».
You speak Italian without any accent, what origins does the surname Albek have?
«Danish, but my dad is from Ticino, dark hair and brown eyes. I was born in Lugano and have always lived here in Montagnola ».
I imagined a more exotic story (we laugh) ...
«No, unfortunately not (laughs). I inherited my blond hair and blue eyes from my mother, half of which is Swiss-German, from Interlaken ».
You told me that no one in the family played an instrument and yet you and your sister both started very early with music ...
«My parents adore the Opera, I still remember the first time they took me there (dreamy air) we went to see Cosi fan tutti. I was four years old and I was close to Fiona, we had to remain in complete silence and I was afraid even to breathe. When it started… I fell in love with music. A few months later Fiona started playing the guitar, then she moved on to the piano, I the violin and I never left it ».
Do you think it is a gift, an innate talent? I know that without the violin you could not live ...
«(Thoughtful). More than a gift I like to think it is pure passion. When you play there are difficult days, moments of crisis, you would like to stop, but you can't. When I play I feel free, happy, as if I were in another world. After Fiona's death I asked myself several times what to do, after all I was used to playing with her, we were a couple in perfect harmony, we had been playing together for a lifetime and a glance was enough to understand each other; yet, despite the immense pain, I never stopped playing, I continued to make music. After Fiona's death I slowly resumed playing with other great musicians, I make chamber music with my viola, it is important to perform with other artists because every song must be interpreted, lived, you have to be able to get in tune with others and this requires great concentration. I do not hide from you that now I am experiencing a very difficult moment, I am on a concert break and I have to seriously rethink what I will do, I have to rebuild everything ... (Silence). It is difficult for others to understand this, but the union with my sister was very special. We have always been together, from before birth to the first day of school, to the various diplomas. Now I have to learn to manage this aspect of my life too ».
You also live on memories ...
«Yes, but how many people live only from the memory and do not live from the present? I would also like to try to react in honor of Fiona who, despite her suffering, was always grateful for life. I haven't played a violin concert yet, because it reminds me too much of Fiona; but I will take it back as soon as I have the strength ».
You studied at the Lugano Conservatory, in Zurich, then you did your Master's for chamber music in Imola, in short, a life as a vagabond, as you did with your family, friends ...
“The family has always been close to us. While friends… I see them as a breeze, I have many, scattered all over the world ».
But how do you regenerate yourself between concerts, travels, rehearsals and workouts ...
«It is enough for me to be in my garden, among my flowers and my hives, I have twelve ... (Amazed). It all started by chance, I gave free lessons to one of my pupils and her dad wanted to give me something in return, he asked me if I wanted a hive ... and I answered yes and I am very happy, also because I spend hours with the my bees and I also produce excellent honey. (Satisfied) ».
And you also find time for research, I know you are studying the impact of sound on people ...
"It is a study that I am doing with a group of musician and composer friends, with whom I improvise: a totally new world for me accustomed to classical music. (Reflective)".
You told me that you love to be silent and you don't like listening to background music, because music must be experienced, appreciated. I don't want to imagine how many hours you train a day ...
«A musician is like an athlete: he must always train. I currently play four hours a day. With Fiona things were a little different… we worked together all day, spent hours looking for the perfect pitch. She was very precise, of the two it was she who had perfect pitch, she just needed to hear a note to recognize it ».
Musician, researcher, before you also mentioned some lessons, do you like teaching?
«I must say that in the last few years I have mostly played. As far as teaching is concerned, I have a love-hate relationship. I love to teach, but what irritates me is that there is often little dedication and passion. Parents ask their children to do a thousand things and children no longer have the time to devote themselves to an instrument. Whoever wants to play must do it with great love, it cannot and should not be an obligation ».
And who wants to live on music because like you they can't live without it?
“It is not obvious to live from concerts, you have to train a lot and keep moving. Then, as in all jobs, you have to put a lot of love, skill, luck and I'll never stop saying it: passion. There are many sacrifices to be made, but all are rewarded ».
When you are on stage what happens?
«I'm always very excited and I still feel butterflies in my stomach. Then the concert begins… I take a deep breath and everything becomes a fairy tale ».
But at your levels is he wrong? Are the great musicians wrong?
«Yes, it happens, it happens, but we must go on. Music education is very strict, woe betide you if you make a mistake. A dancer can make a mistake, an actor can make a mistake, but not in classical music, because everyone hears it. Instead it shouldn't be like that, it should be a joy, a pleasure and above all teachers shouldn't put so much pressure on students ”.
Have you had strict teachers?
«Yes, even Fiona was very strict, but then she changed (she smiles), we worked a lot on this aspect and in recent years when we happened to make mistakes… we laughed. I must also say that lately we made little mistakes, we were serene, and if you are not afraid of making mistakes, very often, you don't make the mistake… ».
You never thought about having your own family, children ...
“No, don't get me wrong, but I don't see myself with a family. My sister, the youngest, has a daughter that I adore, but after five minutes of holding her I don't know how to handle her anymore. I recognize that parenting is very challenging and complex. The truth now is that everything has stopped, I don't know exactly what I want, I know that I won't stop playing, but inside of me there is a crack, a crack that I will gradually have to repair. Unfortunately it seems to be a very slow process. (Silence)".
I want to ask you one last question because Ambra is a name that suits you particularly, why did your parents choose it?
“My mom didn't know she had twins and there are no other cases of twins in the family. In the initial ultrasound they had seen a daughter and had chosen to call her Fiona Ambra, Ambra as a middle name. At the moment of her birth, Fiona arrives, all the doctors and staff take care of her, then at a certain point there is a nurse who looks and shouts: "Doctor there is another, there is a 'other ”, total panic. So my parents, instead of looking for another name, broke it: Fiona and Ambra. Then life has wanted that halfway through one of the two to go away ... and you start asking yourself some questions that you didn't ask yourself before, you review things from another point of view. (Let's have a second coffee). I was not afraid of dying before, but now, after seeing my sister in such pain, I will have to do some work on myself. The most important thing, however, remains the time we have been together, until the end. The last day of her life I took the dogs to the hospital, she was very happy, my family and I were close to her until the last sigh. Life does not make much sense without this, you can commit yourself, in all areas, to have power, to become famous, but then the most important thing remains your love, the love you give and receive, also because you don't bring anything with you. you, but love remains, forever ».
